Erika Beedle Paired Writing

Erika Beedle

Comm 211

Paired Writing

January 15, 2014

            Over the past few weeks I have had the opportunity to meet with Albinasio Leopoldino, a 25-year-old student from Angola, Africa.  When we were assigned partners for a class assignment, I was not expecting our relationship to develop into a friendship.  We talk about our families, friends, past experiences, and goals for the future.  We realized that we have many similarities, and even though we come from opposite sides of the world, we are just two average college students.  One of my favorite topics to discuss with Albinasio was the difference in our culture.  We were both very intrigued by our different ways of life and wanted to learn about each other as much as possible.

            One major difference in our cultures was marriage.  In the American culture it is legal for anyone to get married if they are both 18, no parental consent is needed.  Albinasio explained that when two people want to get married, both the groom and the bride’s families have to agree on the marriage.  This may be a lengthy process and consists of numerous meetings between the families.  When the families are discussing whether the couple can get married or not, the groom is not allowed to say anything, or defend himself.  The groom’s uncle and sometimes the father represent the groom.  When the families meet, everyone will go, but just the uncle of the groom and the family of the bride will talk.  They are discussing whether they believe the couple is compatible, and if the groom meets the family’s standards.  One way the groom the can prove his worth is by buying his bride and family presents. The presents can range from money, to a cow, or jewelry.  After several meetings between the families and numerous gifts, a decision will be made if the couple can be married.  Legally, the couple can be married without the families consent.  But for the wedding to be recognized in the community, the couple has to have a traditional wedding with the parent’s permission.

            Discussing marriage with Albinasio made me realize how much America is an individualist culture, and how his culture was very collectivistic.  Major life decisions, such as marriage in his culture are made between both families.  In America some people choose to get married without even telling their parents.  Also, Albinasio pointed out that the elderly people in his country are very well respected and looked up to.  He found it hard to believe that here we called adults by there first name and didn’t show the respect he thought they deserved.  You don’t realize the positives and negatives aspects of your own lifestyle and culture until you talk with someone different from you.  Both Albinasio and myself discussed points that we wished were different about culture, and what we wanted to do to for the future of our countries. 

            It has been an eye opening experience being able to meet Albinasio, and I hope we stay in touch after he leaves Nebraska.  While we were talking, we didn’t judge each other or each other’s cultures.  We wanted to learn about each other as much as possible, and put past any previous stereotypes we possessed.  The best way to become culturally competent is to expose yourselves to as many cultures as possible, and I believe both Albinasio and myself have a better understand for each others culture, and developed a true friendship.