Flora Mondi- Paired Essay

Flora Mondi

Getachew Godana

COMM 211

Paired Essay

Botswana Wedding

            When I first met my Botswana partner, Thembukazi Sigodi, we had a connection. We started off by introducing ourselves then talked about which part of Africa we were from. Then we started to compare the different cultural events/aspects between Sudan and Botswana. While talking, what interested me most was when she started the topic on weddings. Thembukazi, who goes by Nene, started explaining me the process what the female and the male have to do before, during, and after the wedding.

            Nene first told me the story of how her grandmother got married to her grandfather. Her grandmother’s wedding was arranged which means that someone else picked her without getting to know her first and she had to stop going to college to be able to get to know her chosen husband. Her grandfather had to bring cows to her grandmother’s family before they go on a first date. Before entering into her grandmother’s house, they have to stop by the gate and hand a letter called “Labola Negation” which is a letter that stated what date and the reason they were at the gate. The grandfather also had to come bearing “imvula mlomo” or gifts as well. The “imvula mlomo” is money or the alcohol, Brandy.

         If the grandmother’s parents are satisfied with the gift, they will take the gift that was left at the front of the gate and the grandfather and his uncle are allowed to enter without being told. This process happens before the male asks for the female’s hands in marriage. When the male and his uncle enter, they sit with the women’s parents and uncles. The then male offers an amount of money or number of cows to the woman’s parents and uncles. The women’s uncles come together to see if the price that the man offers is worth their niece’s life. After they negotiate the bride’s price, the bride also known as “umakoti,” now goes to the groom’s house with her family dressed in traditional clothing the color either (armanjinmarni) blue or (takis) brown. During the wedding, they have a tradition where the bride’s relative has to feed her the traditional meals that have been prepared. Nene’s wedding tradition is similar to my cultures because we also use cows or money as the way for a groom to buy the bride to be.