Danny Clare
2/1/2015
COMM 211
Paired Essay with Modiri
I was fortunate enough to be paired up with one of the
most out-going students that is here from Africa. I was worried about trying to keep
conversation with Modiri but it almost felt like he was a long lost brother of
mine. Modiri was a little different than
most of the students I talked with because I couldn’t even get a word in most
of the time, he was always doing the talking.
This made it incredibly easy for me to figure out what I wanted to focus
on. The most intriguing thing that
Modiri talked about was the way of marriage in Botswana. Marriage from what Modiri described it as is
way more traditional than I could have even imagined. It is an elongated and expensive process,
much different than it is here.
People date like normal, but when two individuals decide
they want to get married to each other, many things must happen first. The male and female must go back to their
parents and tell them that they would like to marry the other individual they have
been dating. The parents then meet with
the aunt and uncle of their son or daughter.
Then, each family meets up with each other talking about the marriage. The process in which they meet is called
Patio. Something that I found
interesting is that when the family’s meet up to talk about the marriage, the
aunt and uncle are the only ones that can talk.
The male’s family also brings a sign of gratitude to the female’s
family. It almost seems like the male’s
family has to bribe the female’s family into letting the process move on.
After the first meeting the families go back and talk
amongst one another deciding if they want to continue with the marriage
process. The next meeting is called the
Magadi. This is when the boy’s family
will pay gratitude with cattle. There is
usually around 8 cattle involved in this process. Not only is there cattle that are given but
many other gifts to each family member.
As you can see this is an extremely expensive process.
The Magadi is the final step before the marriage. After the Magadi the marriage occurs and
there is a celebration. The whole
process really had me interested and made me want to learn more about the
culture Modiri comes from. I now
appreciate the traditions I hold within my culture. This experience with the African students was
something that changed my life and the way I look at everyone. I experienced multiple culture shocks
throughout my time with the students as well.
I now am interested in studying abroad and hopefully meeting up with
Modiri again in the future.
"it almost felt like he was a long lost brother of mine"-loved it. I think it shows you both are interculturally competent.
ReplyDelete"Modiri was a little different than most of the students I talked with because I couldn’t even get a word in most of the time, he was always doing the talking"- I thought this challenges the stereotyped view that people from individualistic cultures privilege talking.
"The male’s family also brings a sign of gratitude to the female’s family. It almost seems like the male’s family has to bribe the female’s family into letting the process move on" I wonder if Modiri uses the word "bribe" to describe the tradition.
It is good to know you are interested in studying abroad and meeting up with Modiri again. That is what this class is all about- going out of our own cultures and engaging with more people from different cultural background.