Audrey Beedle

COMM 211 – Paired Essay

            I was paired up with Kama Matondo for the paired essay assignment.  Kama is a few years older than me (early twenties) and is from the country of Angola.  Her first language is Portuguese but she speaks English very well. When I first met Kama, she welcomed me with a very warm smile and soft voice.  Compared to some of the other SUSI students I met, Kama was very soft-spoken, kind, and gentle.  She was very easy to talk to and has an extremely warm and welcoming personality.  We went to Greek Side together, which is a Christian youth group type of atmosphere.  It was also my first time there, so neither of us really knew what to expect.  During the program, I made a point to notice the reactions from the SUSI students we went with.  At one point in the service, we were told to ask our peers “Who has loved you best and why?”  Most of us answered with our mother, or our parents, but Kama said God.  She explained that no matter what we do God always loves us equally and will not judge us as people do.  I asked her briefly about her religious views and she explained that she is Christian and is very close to God.  Kama asked me if I go to church and said that I used to, but that I haven’t had as much time to lately.  She seemed genuinely cared about me and encouraged me to find time to go to church if I can.  I found it very touching that she cared to provide some spiritual encouragement and it made me realize that it is such a big part of her life, and of many of my peers lives and it is very important to identify your own spiritual path to have the most fulfilling life possible, even if it differs from those around you.

            After Greek Side, we talked about the traditional marriage customs in Angola and in the United States.  As Kama explained, there is a very strong, cultural tradition of asking for a woman’s hand in marriage in Angola called the alambamento, which consists of a series of rituals that come with marital engagement.  It was made very clear from all of the SUSI students that family approval is extremely important and central to a successful marriage.  The groom must receive the approval of the bride’s family, and it only occurs if everyone is in agreement that the wedding should happen.  The couple decides on a date for the request of their marriage, and the aunt and uncle of the bride lead it.  I asked them, “what if you don’t know your aunt or uncle that well, or if they live too far away to come?” And immediately they all agreed that you would know then well enough, because family is so important and they would make the trip to come no matter how far.  It reminded me of the collectivistic nature of their culture rather than the individualistic nature of my own.  Then, the groom is given a list of things to bring to the approval date, in order to show how much he cares for the bride and her family.  The uncles make the list, and it serves as compensation for all that has been spent on the bride since birth through her wedding day.  Kama said the list can be even more extensive and the approval even more difficult if the bride is pregnant before the marriage, as that is highly frowned upon.  As I could have guessed, some of the more traditional practices are fading away in regions of Angola and even Africa entirely.  The more conservative insist on maintaining the traditions as the more progressive have moved away from these practices, but overall, family and collectivism is highly valued and is part of everyday life.

Paired Essay

Taylor Holzfaster
Intercultural Communications
2/2/15
Paired Essay

            When thinking about all the different cultures and backgrounds that each person comes from, there are a lot of questions that often arise as to why people to do, celebrate, cherish, love, and care for the things they do. In our Intercultural Communications class, being given the opportunity to be paired with an African student and learn more about their cultural, what they think of America, and learn conflicts that are apparent when comparing our different cultural backgrounds was simply amazing.

            I was paired with a girl named Neoni Cygodi. She is from Tsolo, Eastern Cape, South Africa, but before coming to America was living in East London, Eastern Cape. She was born on January 30, 1994 and studies at Walter Sisulu University. When I first met Neoni she was kind of shy, but warmed up to me the more we started talking about each of our cultural backgrounds and subjects that interested the both of us. For example, I quickly realized that Neoni and I not only shared a love for shoes, but we also both enjoy spending time with friends and family as well.

            A lot of Neoni and I’s conversations were more generalized at the beginning. She asked me a lot about how I liked growing up in America, Nebraska in particular and the different cultural norms that exist here. She explained to me that she was surprised as to how kind and friendly people were here. She said that back home, she wouldn’t just say hi to someone on the sidewalk that she didn’t know like she does here. She also explained to me that while she is enjoying her time here in Nebraska, she still misses home quite often.

            After getting through all the general questions and background information of each other, I asked Neoni what she thought was the most interesting conflict that arose when she compared our culture here in America to her culture back home. Neoni’s response was something that got me excited because it is something that I was curious to ask her about right when I met her. She explained to me that getting married and the way things work in South Africa are way different then here in America. For example, Neoni explained to me that when a man and a woman want to get married the man must first ask for the woman’s hand in marriage. If the woman agrees, they must then discuss the decision with each of their families. From that point on, the decision on whether the couple can get married or not is discussed usually either between the father/uncle of the bride and grooms families. If the meeting between the families goes well, there is usually a list of things that the groom must bring to the wife’s family in order to get full permission to get married. A list usually includes a cow, a certain amount of money (depends on the family), and sometimes sweets for the mother/father of the bride. However, Neoni clarified to me that each list depends solely on the family and their cultural beliefs. Once the man receives and gives the family of the bride what’s on the list, the couple is given full permission to get married and there is no specific time frame as to how long the couple has until their wedding, they get to make that decision for themselves.

            Hearing all of this information from Neoni not only was a lot to take in, but also was completely shocking to me. There is an incredible amount of conflict and differences that derive when it comes to the subject of marriage in America and South Africa. Neoni was very interested to hear all about how in America the process of marriage is so different from what she is used to. She couldn’t believe that in America, a person must be 18 to get married, and there are a lot of cases when two people get married without the parents’ permission. One thing that Neoni and I found to be the same is the divorce rate in our countries. We discussed how divorce in each of our countries is very common and has happened to families and friends that we know personally.

             My experience with Neoni is something that I will never forget. I feel so honored to have had the chance to meet her and discuss our cultural differences, personal backgrounds, and analyze a cultural moment that we both are very passionate about. Being part of a project like this has made me open my eyes to the world and has made me become more appreciative about different cultures and the people that are apart of them.

           

Sydney Svoboda

Professor Getachew

Paired Essay

January 30, 15

            As I talked with my SUSI partner I learned many things about his culture and himself. Mompati Ditogo, which means “many blessings” is a twenty-four year old pursuing a degree in Accounting. He described himself to me as an introvert, who doesn’t mind being around big groups of people, but prefers to be somewhere reading. He loves to read books about success, and about people who have become successful for example, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. He told me, “When I want to achieve something the word no is not in my vocabulary.” As we continued our conversation I began to realize how intelligent, ambitious, and goal driven he is. He loves to learn and is thankful to be able to go to school, something that most of the U.S. students take for granted.

            Mompati is from Maun, Botswana a southern country in Africa known as the “tourism capital” because besides diamond mining, and farming, that is the third largest source of income. It is made up of both African Americans, and European White people. The official language is called Setswana, and English coming in at second. Maun has a lot of rural areas, but has vastly grown into more of an urban development over the years. Mompati lives on a farm with his parents and younger brother. He said, “Maun is made up of a lot of farm land, and cattle. To put it into perspective Botswana has a population of about two million people, and four million cows.” Because of the rural land and big population of animals there is a local native tribe made up of about sixty-seven members called the “San.” This local tribe travels all over Botswana to hunt game, but mainly reside in the National Park, The Memori Game Reserve. He said, “They don’t believe in modern day technology, or the government, they refuse to be apart of any of it.”

            Along with the San tribe there are many other different ones in Maun that are more modern. Mompati described to me the process of being initiated into man and woman hood. At about the age of sixteen both boys and girls go to what is known as initiation school, or better known as Bogwera for boys and Bojale for girls. The initiation lasts about three months, for both genders. During this period the boys go through boot camp style training, and many leadership activities to be initiated into man-hood. The girls are taught to cook, clean, and everything that will help enter her into woman-hood. When the boys make it through the three months of school they’re circumcised and officially entered into manhood. After boys and girls enter into man and woman hood they’re allowed to officially date. Before if they were to date someone it was supposed to be kept secret from all family members and even friends.

As Mompati and I furthered our conversation about relationships we landed on the topic of marriage. Which, was the thing I thought differed the most from our two cultures. In Mompati's culture if a man decides he wants to marry his girlfriend he must ask his Uncle and Aunt to talk to his soon to be fiancés Uncle and Aunt. Then when they both agree on a time the man and woman’s families’ meet, but the only people allowed to talk are the Uncles and Aunts. They often meet three to four times before anything is considered official. At these meetings they discuss what is known as the “bride price.” Which is basically a gift the man’s family must provide to the woman’s family. Many times this price can include up to eight cattle, fine clothing products, or money. When the bride price is set and paid the couple will then have a wedding ceremony. They have a ceremony, and exchange rings and vows.

Although, we didn’t necessarily talk about a certain subject we did ask each other a lot of questions. One of the many was, “What were some of the biggest cultural difference you have noticed so far?” He said the weather was one of the most shocking because before coming to Nebraska he had never seen snow before. In Botswana they experience the colder weather in the months of May through July. Another culture shock Mompati noticed was that back in Africa many people rely on the government to get what they need and want, where as Americans get jobs and support themselves. He said, "he really liked that because he hopes to graduate soon with a degree, and be able to help his parents out one day." I know with the ambition he has he will be successful in anything he wishes to do. Meeting Mompati was eye opening, and really helped me to better understand Africa. I hope to stay in contact with him, as I consider him a wonderful friend of mine. 

Presleigh and Pedro- paired essay

           Talking with Pedro and comparing his country of Mozambique to mine here in the United States proved to have been one of the most interesting and rewarding conversations I have had.  Through listening and learning about different cultural traditions he practiced at home, I became much more aware of the traditions practiced here as well.  Although we had spent hours talking about many different aspects of his culture and mine, I decided to focus this essay more on the similarities and differences of the religion traditionally practiced in Mozambique of Animism versus the religious practice of a majority of Americans of Christianity.

            About two-thirds of the population in Mozambique follows Animist customs and rituals.  The traditional belief system of Animism places high importance on a connection with the spirit world and one’s ancestors. While Christians believe in one God, “The Lord our God, the Lord is one” (Deuteronomy 6:4 and 1 John 5:20), Animists believe that spirits and gods are found in animals, plants, rocks, the moon and sun, rivers, and stars.  These spirits and gods may bring about bad luck or sickness to those who do not please them.  They think that if a bigger god does exist, that he is too far away from humans and doesn’t worry about their daily needs.  Christians, however, believe that God is not far from them and that He individually cares for each and every one of us, no matter our performance.  Animists believe that witch doctors and shamans have a great and special understanding of the spiritual world.  They are whom animist go to for protection, help, and healing.  Individuals practicing Christianity believe that witchcraft is not pleasing to God and cast their cares upon Him.  Upon more research after my conversation with Pedro, I found that Animism is often mentioned in the Bible, commanding that Christians do not practice it.  I also came to realize that a lot of Christians unknowingly do practice some form of animism, placing great value and “worship” in things and objects above God.

            Christians typically attend a church service once a week on Sundays to worship and learn about our Savior.  More devout Christians may join a small group Bible study in which they read and discuss different chapters in the Bible more in depth.  Some also read their Bible and worship God every day.  The ultimate goal of every Christian is to let God become the center of their life, letting every decision they make be rooted in Christ.  God leads your life if you let Him.  Worship of the Lord can also include music and dance.  There is typically music before and after church services in which everyone sings along.  Animist rituals also involve music and dance, but to a more extreme degree.  Drums and wind instruments are used as men perform a dance involving mapicos, or large masks.  These dances usually represent an attack from demons on villagers and usually last many hours.  The masks that are worn are carved in secret and the women are not allowed to touch them.

            Although there are significant differences between the religious practices of Pedro and I, we do both believe in something, or someone, which gives us both spiritual fulfillment.  Pedro doesn’t necessarily practice all of the above descriptions of Animism but says it is definitely present amongst different cultures in Mozambique.  Like I implied earlier, talking with Pedro has opened my eyes to a better understanding of a religion other than my own, as well as developing a friendship along the way. He wants me to come visit someday saying that he would love for me to experience first-handedly the religious customs to obtain a deeper understanding.

            

Erika Beedle Paired Writing

Erika Beedle

Comm 211

Paired Writing

January 15, 2014

            Over the past few weeks I have had the opportunity to meet with Albinasio Leopoldino, a 25-year-old student from Angola, Africa.  When we were assigned partners for a class assignment, I was not expecting our relationship to develop into a friendship.  We talk about our families, friends, past experiences, and goals for the future.  We realized that we have many similarities, and even though we come from opposite sides of the world, we are just two average college students.  One of my favorite topics to discuss with Albinasio was the difference in our culture.  We were both very intrigued by our different ways of life and wanted to learn about each other as much as possible.

            One major difference in our cultures was marriage.  In the American culture it is legal for anyone to get married if they are both 18, no parental consent is needed.  Albinasio explained that when two people want to get married, both the groom and the bride’s families have to agree on the marriage.  This may be a lengthy process and consists of numerous meetings between the families.  When the families are discussing whether the couple can get married or not, the groom is not allowed to say anything, or defend himself.  The groom’s uncle and sometimes the father represent the groom.  When the families meet, everyone will go, but just the uncle of the groom and the family of the bride will talk.  They are discussing whether they believe the couple is compatible, and if the groom meets the family’s standards.  One way the groom the can prove his worth is by buying his bride and family presents. The presents can range from money, to a cow, or jewelry.  After several meetings between the families and numerous gifts, a decision will be made if the couple can be married.  Legally, the couple can be married without the families consent.  But for the wedding to be recognized in the community, the couple has to have a traditional wedding with the parent’s permission.

            Discussing marriage with Albinasio made me realize how much America is an individualist culture, and how his culture was very collectivistic.  Major life decisions, such as marriage in his culture are made between both families.  In America some people choose to get married without even telling their parents.  Also, Albinasio pointed out that the elderly people in his country are very well respected and looked up to.  He found it hard to believe that here we called adults by there first name and didn’t show the respect he thought they deserved.  You don’t realize the positives and negatives aspects of your own lifestyle and culture until you talk with someone different from you.  Both Albinasio and myself discussed points that we wished were different about culture, and what we wanted to do to for the future of our countries. 

            It has been an eye opening experience being able to meet Albinasio, and I hope we stay in touch after he leaves Nebraska.  While we were talking, we didn’t judge each other or each other’s cultures.  We wanted to learn about each other as much as possible, and put past any previous stereotypes we possessed.  The best way to become culturally competent is to expose yourselves to as many cultures as possible, and I believe both Albinasio and myself have a better understand for each others culture, and developed a true friendship.